The Nature of Deference and Demeanour

One of my first impressions of studies within micro-sociology is the focus on individuals to explain larger societal structures, institutions and relationships. This focus allows the statistical ‘outliers’ in society which are often ignored in discussion to be incorporated in social theory. I think there is much to be learnt from the people who struggle to comply with the rules and norms of society. Consequently I was thrilled when Goffman opens this chapter with the notion that in order to ‘learn about personal properties’ it is insightful to look at the people who have ‘spectacularly’ failed to maintain them instead.

Goffman’s discussion of deference and demeanour was an interesting read. Deference is a reflection of the persons place in context of larger society where demeanour is the qualities given to individual by their social standing (at least by my understanding). The chapter is littered with examples to illustrate his points and the ones from the mental institution were particularly interesting. However, little was said about how we learn these practices which I think offer an interesting area of inspection.

During high school I did work experience in a local primary school year two class for a week. Supposedly, the children had learnt through their time at school that they were to defer to teachers (and most adults) through practices like addressing them by their title and last name and respecting a considerable sphere of no touching (unlike with their parents and other familial adults). When I entered the classroom dynamic relations were unclear because I did not know my position of deference nor did the students. Although I was older, not in a uniform and in a position of minor authority, the children were permitted to call me by my first name and noticed I was distinct from other members of staff. Also, my previous experience of children as a babysitter required that I be affectionate towards children. Quickly they were cuddling me and holding my hand and touching me to the point where I was unable to do my job because I could not move. The teacher and I came up with a system of ‘air-hugs’ so the children could show their affection without touching me. A system of deference was established quickly and assisted in the carrying out of that particular social situation.

Goffman, E 1967, ‘The Nature of Deference and Demeanour’, in Interactional Ritual: Essays of Face-to-Face Behaviour, Doubleday, New York, pp. 47-95